Citizen Jake

This is turning into a marathon. I am very tired. #fb

This is JUST like The Hangover #fb

My flight seemed to be composed entirely of a casting call for 16 & Pregnent, none of whom had never flown before. A joy. #fb

I love it when people tell jokes about using teleprompters….while using a teleprompter. Oh CPAC, don’t you ever change. #fb

Happiest of birthdays to Melissa Ann Oliver, a very small person and the greatest girlfriend in the whole wide world. Love you! #fb

People of DC (particularly cabs): do not fucking drive down R St. between 18th & 19th. You will get stuck. I am tired of helping you. #fb

Now that was one hell of a Caps game. 13 in a row #fb

2 rescue missions completed. Dug several cars out of snow, including our own 2x. Picked up more firewood. 2+ feet of snow and counting #fb

Is it cool if you wish Desmond loved you as much as he loves Penny? Asking for a friend. #fb

Michael Jackson’s kids look EXACTLY like him. Spitting image, am I right?